I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
