how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the day after is always just damage control
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
