I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
