I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
