if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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