Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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