Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
false alarm, still single
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