If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
