i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
