He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize