Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
