my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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