my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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