I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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