JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
