I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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