i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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