Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
