Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
