If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I still have a little drunk in my system
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
