We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize