apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize