i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Drake has all the answers
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
