trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize