you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
