Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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