At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
