I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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