I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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