1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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