He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
