That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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