Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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