Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
