you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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