I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
