Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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