hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
