i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
