my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
