decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
