Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Success! We fucked roommates!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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