you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can you repeat that, but with context?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
