Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
