covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
