I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
