I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Enjoy the penises
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
