i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Panties = found
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