shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize