He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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