I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
