Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wannas sexs uuuuu
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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