We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
