no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize