It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
