ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
