Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
