white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
