i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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