brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
