I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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