New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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